Confession time

I know, I know, I know.

I haven't written since probably before the New Year. How ironic. To stop writing when everyone else jumps on the writing bandwagon. What can I say? I like to be contradicting.

Okay, not all the time.

I've been busy with school and girls, I'm launching a website this year. Me. A website. I'm so excited to work on it. I've been researching like crazy since this beginning of this year.

Originally it was going to be a portfolio for my work. Well, I might include a link on the bio page for that but the website itself is just going to be a place for me to collect all the things I like. The movies, the music, the food, the places. A lifestyle blog. I've very excited to work on it.

I will get back to writing to you, I haven't forgotten about you.

Feelings of Anticipation...The semester must be almost over!

Girls, I'm worried.

I keep getting these feelings. I don't know if they are feelings of intense desire (when I say intense desire, I mean that in the BEST WAY POSSIBLE!) or if I'm supposed to go somewhere or what.

Take Disney. I want to work for the company again. I worked for Disney last year and it was one of the greatest experiences in my life. I want to continue with them (and not just because then I can get into the parks for free). I mean, I want to be an writer and author for the rest of my life but I've never been able to settle into just one thing. Ever.

Anyway, I'll see pictures or videos of Disney-related things, places, characters (I think you get it) and my stomach feels different. Not like I'm going to be sick but more like anticipation. It kind of feels like urgency, to do what I don't know, but it's there.

I think it might also be memories of things. Pulling memories and combining them with thoughts of future adventures. It's an odd mixture.

As a side note, I think it also has to do with the fact that today is the last day of finals for me and I have 1 more final and 6 more work shifts to do (aka 3 days of work) before I'm home free. I can't wait to head home and spend time with family. I've got projects I want to work on and sleep to catch up on.

Rechargin' my batteries

The past few days I haven't really done anything with my ward. I've missed out on 2 big activities, Xmas activities in fact, and I just haven't been very social.

It's been so good for me to take a step back.

I consider myself an introvert with extroverted tendencies which means that while I like people and at times it really feels like I get energy from people. At the same time, I also need my alone time and for the past few days have been having some serious alone time.

That means that I've fully charged. I can be around other people again. Wow, that makes me sound selfish or something.

I'm going to try to make sure today is a good day.

OH and I had a great night with my roommates watching cheesy christmas movies. It was a great bonding time.

Friendships

So I screwed up majorly.

1) I totally forgot that the last post was the 100th post. And I was going to throw a party....

2) I had a recent lesson on friendship. A painful and beneficial lesson on friendship.

What happened isn't important. I messed up and I paid the consequence: the loss of a potential friend. But what I learned, more like what I was reminded is that you can't be friends with everyone. And that's not me trying to give some cop-out answer. With this person, I could never quite get a beat on him, I could never figure out who he was and how we connected. Let me try that again.

I try to get the beat on people because then I know how to act around them. It's just what I do. And I couldn't find this guy's beat and when I can't find a beat, I feel uncomfortable. I don't know how to act and that I'm walking on eggshells.

This is someone that I really wanted to be friends with. I don't like when I can't be friends with people whose friendship I wanted. But girls, it's okay.

You can't be friends with everyone. Acquaintances, sure, if you meet everyone. But friends? It's not always going to happen and that doesn't mean that there is something wrong with you.

Believe me. There is nothing wrong with you.

Relaxing

I'm just been tired all day. Of people that is. So I'm staying in tonight, I'm really excited.

I went to the BYU Museum of Art today because they have a costumes exhibit as in a movie costumes exhibit.

While I did love the costumes (I'm always up to seeing things like that), I loved just being in a museum again. It's been far too long. Okay about 2 months, but still.

It was so great being around art. I'm not the greatest of artists but I love observing and studying art.

What a great way to spend some time today.

It's almost Thanksgiving

The semester is winding down. Thank goodness!

"Don’t limit yourself or your imagination. Imagination is a big beautiful space in your heart in which to live. Dream big, dream happy, dream kind."--Kenneth Brannagh

Here's to free food, free laundry and family!

Introverted Me vs. Extroverted Me: The Showdown

For the past week I have been involved with BYU's Care Week as a member and officer of the Disney History Club here on campus. Not something I've ever really done before, either been involved (or even really visited booths) at Care Week or really been part of a club on campus. But I don't know, I had a surge of confidence when I worked at Disney and there's people in the club here who have worked for Disney as well so I get some of that magic back.

I'm not going to lie, it feels really weird sitting here at this booth. I've got Disney music playing, TONS of sparkly confetti lying about and a large Mickey bag. So why do I feel awkward?

Probably because I'm more an introvert than an extrovert aka I don't often show my feelings about things in public. So I keep sitting here feeling ever out of my element and half hoping/half not hoping that I have friends that walk past. I'm conflicted....

I'm never going to be one of those Disney fans who has every piece of clothing, every movie, every toy, every album...okay, the movies, the music, the books and the paintings I want but can't afford. The other things? No, not really my style. Except watches. I used to have this ADORABLE Mickey watch but it disappeared on me.

Thankfully the student center isn't really busy right now. So I have some breathing room. 2:30 hours left.