Validation: The Facebook Way

I posted something on Facebook the other day. Actually it was that "You Never Know" video. What was interesting about that status was the fact that I actually opened up about personal things.

I got maybe 5 likes. Possibly 6 likes.

This is how low my self-esteem is. I see other people post similarly styled statuses and they get dozens of likes. Sometimes even up into the 100s.

I sit at 6 likes.

Facebook is awful because it makes visual validation important. I don't know how many people actually viewed my post, all I know is how many people clicked "Like". There's so much that goes into whether or not something is popular on Facebook. Level of interest, time of day posted, where it's posted, amount of friends/followers, etc.

I'm not proud to admit that I thrive, I need that validation. It's how I know I'm doing things right, following the right shows, listening to the right bands, goodness knows how many other things.

I don't even think it's because I want to be popular. Sure, back in elementary school or junior high, heck I wanted to be popular up through high school. It never happened though. Now it's more that I just want to be noticed. Oh heck, it's because I want to be popular. I want people to know who I am, to know my name. I want to do something or have done something that gets the attention of others (in a good way!).

There's a girl I work with who asks 'survey questions' to the customers. Purely harmless and I was actually the one who got her started. Now she gets recognized around campus as "Survey Girl" and she has 'regulars' that get excited when she asks a new question.

That could have been me! But I'm more often behind-the-scenes than at center stage which can hurt a lot especially when I hit a low point.

I'm getting better though. I'm learning, truly learning that I don't need that validation to be a good person and that validation, while it helps, is not what I should strive for. If I get it, then great. If I don't, my life will continue to move on in about as much the same way that it would have had if I had gotten that validation. Make sense? Yes? No? Eh...oh well.